May 18

I've been needing to make this entry for several days now. For shame, for shame, for shame on me.

Barbara has been doing great! I think the biggest improvement I've seen is her emotional state. She has been so much more positive and upbeat. Late last week she and I were trained on "transfers" - moving her from wheel chair to, uh, regular chair. Next week we'll work on getting her into our vehicle. We will be doing so with a special belt designed by none other than Martha Stewart. Or maybe not.

Now for the really good news. The road has been cleared for Barbara to return to Miller's after the wedding. They have worked out a means by which this can happen and Medidontcare will actually pay. But wouldn't it be better news for her to come home? We both certainly long for that day, but her care and rehab needs still exceed my capacities as a provider. Barbara believes this to be a good thing; she has become quite upbeat about all this.

Please continue to pray that this will be the week that she walks,

Keep Jackie and Peter in your prayers for their impending nuptials,

Pray that the journey there will be paved with daisies and, I don't know. It's late. Make up your own metaphor.

May 14 - A Thousand More Words

Once again, I apologize for the length between entries. I never was a good one at keeping journals, and I now find myself busier than before.

First up, I want to share with you a pic from Mother's Day. We were blessed to have our beautiful daughter with us. Jackie will be graduating from Asbury Theological Seminary next weekend with her masters in counseling. Then, the next weekend, it's the big day. Her wedding to Peter. Barb's mother was also with us, and this picture is a 3 generation shot taken at Miller's. Hope you enjoy it.

Barbara continues to make miraculous improvement, albeit slow. I continually pray that this will be the week that she walks. Thank you for helping us carry this prayer burden.

Barbara is able to stand more and stand longer, with assistance, everyday. She is also gaining strength in lifting herself up. She is also making progress in her ability to transfer from chair to chair (with assistance). Her appetite has been good, too. These are all such wonderful blessings. Still, we realize things will be difficult getting her to Lexington for the wedding. Please keep us in your prayers... we will really need it!

Barbara was so excited to have Jackie come and visit. She looked forward to having Jackie see how well she's doing. It's always wonderful to have her here. But the irony is that you raise a child to one day be independent, get married, have a family of their own and realize their dreams and goals. But... when they actually begin on that part of their life, it's quite sad. Go figure.

As you pray, please continue to remember to pray big - that Barbara will walk this week,

Pray that she will make outstanding progress in these weeks before the wedding,

Pray for our financial state,

Pray for me that I'll stay strong (a combo of sinus headaches, allergies, and yet another ear infection are really dragging me down these days).

One problem forthcoming is that once Barbara leaves the nursing home to go to the wedding, medicare and insurance will not pay for her return (they believe that if she is well enough to leave even for a day, she no longer needs nursing home care). That means, as of the end of the month, she will be home and in my care. That is quite a daunting prospect. While we'll be glad that she's home, we're very concerned about her care and therapy. Pray that the Medicaid waiver goes through unusually fast - that would be a serious blessing, allowing for much more extensive care.

May 5 - Worth A Thousand Words

Here's one you've been waiting for. For most of you, a first look at how Barbara's doing in pictures. My sister's family joined us for a picnic under the gazebo at Miller's Merry Manor. Rather than telling you how things are going, let me show you. At the end of the day, Barbara told me she was "tired... but it's a happy tired." I hope you enjoy these.

This shot is a casual look at the picnic, minus me. It was a day with a mix of sunshine and clouds, but no rain showed up and the temperature was great. Plus, the kids had lots of room to run around in the enclosed courtyard area.

Obviously, I'm not behind the camera on this one... thanks, John! Anyway, here I am with my precious angel. It's so nice that she can sit up now... it's a lot easier to hug her! She is working on increasing her endurance so that she can stay in the wheel chair most of the day in a few weeks at the big wedding.




A great shot here with nieces and nephew. We were also treated to a piano concert, lots of pictures, and lots of action!






And a shot here with my sister Stephanie and her husband, John. Stephanie is also a contributor to this blog in the past. It was such a blessing to have them with us.

Barbara hates to have her picture taken, but she agreed to let me share these with you since you have been so actively praying for her well-being. I hope you share our thrill in seeing her looking so good and doing so well. This week? Well... I continue to pray that this will be the week that she walks!

May 3

I'm finding that I don't have a whole lot of new stuff to report these days, only to say that by the grace of God, Barbara continues to make modest yet remarkable improvements every day. Thanks to the need to do some major house rearranging, and factoring in outrageous gas prices (here it's 3.14/gallon right now), I have been staying home more often to work. Thankfully, Barbara is getting well enough that she can keep herself busy despite boredom. Yesterday, Fay, a lady from GFM, spent the afternoon with her. That was quite a blessing to us all.

Barbara has been able to stand on her feet for longer periods of time (3 minutes as of yesterday), and has been doing quite well learning to transition from bed to chair on her feet (rather than using the hoyer lift). The last time I was with her, she actually stood erect for most of the time on her feet, and that was a very emotional moment. While she does require assistance to stand, she told me that yesterday, she felt herself lifting up before the therapist assisted!

I'm also very pleased that her emotional state has brightened up quite a bit. These months have taken a great toll on her, and living in a nursing home environment isn't at all easy. But she's driven by the goals she has set for herself, and things are looking up.

I don't believe that God puts us through life traumas like this to teach us a lesson. Certainly under the old covenant, there were times when God related to man in that way. But I sense that in the truly desperate and despairing times of my life, rather than making me learn through heartache, He is making sense out of what seems senseless to me. In other words, God transforms the junk of our lives into something beautiful if we let Him. I see now where God is leading me. I realize now that this path has been transformed from something ugly and painful to something worthwhile. Not that our suffering was necessary - but it was necessary to teach me to love again. While Barbara and I never stopped loving each other, like many people who've been married for a number of years, we had settled for a settled-in kind of love. These days, I find myself thrilled every time I see her and every time I hear her voice on the phone. I've experienced a renewal of love for her in a manner that I haven't experienced in years. In a way, I wish that all of you could experience this renewal (without the pain, of course - but I suspect it's the pain that has brought on the renaissance). While I can't wrap my mind around the ways of God, and I can't understand the precise ways He rules the universe, I can see His fingerprints on all things. I have asked for prayer from you so often; please know that I pray for you as well. I pray that God will cause something exciting to be reborn in your heart and mind today.