July 9 - Rounding third and heading home

The bulk of our emotions these days is over Barbara's homecoming tomorrow. Though she's been home on several occasions now (she spent both Saturday and Sunday here), tomorrow will signify the cutting of the cord with the nursing facility that has been her home away from home for several months. She will be just a few days short of having spent 8 months in various hospitals and care facilities. Barbara has always been very emotional, but she's been especially so of late as we've considered how far we've come. This next step will not be easy. Neither of us are jaded as to what this will mean. I realize I'm not fully prepared to be her full time nurse! However, God has been faithful to bless us and care for us in every step of this journey, and we have no reason to believe that will change now. In fact, Barbara just recently told me how emotional she got when we sang "Great Is Thy Faithfulness" on her first Sunday back at church over a month ago. While we certainly have had to deal with many ugly things, there has always been more blessings than anything else.

This past week Barbara has been assisted in walking across the therapy room at Miller's. They are halting steps, but progressive nonetheless. Her nurses and aids are continually amazed at how far she has come since entering Miller's. We both agree that the selection of Miller's Merry Manor in Hobart was exactly the right choice. Her nurses have been outstanding for the most part, as have her aides. In fact, I've come to realize that the aides are the backbone of the facility. They have been such wonderful caregivers, and I can plainly see that they truly care about Barbara. I'm especially thankful for Lisa, one of Barbara's nurses, who I think was a part of saving Barbara's life once again. She was diligent about getting the care needed to solve the fact that Barbara wasn't eating at all. Thanks to her compassionate care, Barbara got the attention that she needed at a point where doctors said she was once again in a dire situation. I wish I could start naming all the significant names and tell what they've done but time and space would now allow it.

So how can you pray for us as I bring Barbara home tomorrow?

Pray that she will continue to progress and not have any setbacks,

That she will walk better everyday,

That the daytime rehab program will work out,

That Medicaid will come through,

That I will have both the physical and emotional strength for the challenges ahead,

That help will be available when needed,

That finances will work out,

And that Barbara will be able to live a joyous, full life.

We plan to go to Columbus this Saturday for Jackie's family/local church shower to be held there (it was too difficult to get in all these showers before the wedding). Pray that will go well. Also, we still have it as a goal to go to family camp together (our Wabash Conference Free Methodist friends will know what that is all about). We still need a decent queen size or even one twin size mattress for the cabin to make it more comfortable for her. Pray that will work out for us.

Wow, that's a lot of prayer requests! Thanks so much for all your kinds responses to this blog. I plan to keep it up for a while longer.

In order to help pay our overwhelming hospital bills, I am beginning a small photography/digital media business. If you know of someone in my area that is getting married, or that would like photographic services for a special occasion, please have them give me a call. I will have a website up soon to advertise my services.

I'm including a picture that, while not a photographic art piece by any stretch, will give you a glimpse at Barbara returning to semi-normalcy. This was taken at a church cook-out this past Sunday.

July 3

With all I've had to report, it's a shame I haven't written more in this past week. Nevertheless, here I art.

My last report to you was that Barbara had taken 3 steps. As of this writing, she most recently took 14 steps! This spanned the distance of the parallel bars on which they teach people to walk again. This little walk was broken into 2 segments, but it's still an amazing thing! She still requires a little extra support from the therapist, and she stays bent over while walking. I didn't want to give you the impression that she just popped up and mosied on over to the end of the walk area. Learning to walk again will be a painful, tedious process. However, I'll have you all note that this is yet another answer to prayer. There were many who thought she'd never walk again.

Barbara will be coming home to stay a week from today (Tuesday the 10th). This presents a lot of questions. We are trying to get her accepted onto a daytime rehab program that will come and pick her up, take her to rehab, and bring her home. This would be a WONDERFUL thing. Please join us in praying that this will come to fruition. Also, please pray diligently with us that her Medicaid waiver will come through in time.

I'm not blind to the many challenges awaiting us, but I'm also certain that life will be better in that I won't have to travel back and forth to be with her, and I won't have to set up office in her little room and try to work there anymore.

She has continued to come home on Sundays to attend church. She will also be coming home with me tomorrow for the 4th of July. No big plans; I suppose we'll grill some burgers or something. Whatever we do, it will be much better than nursing home food (I hope).

I have been wondering how long I should continue this blog. I guess you could help me with that. If you're on the mailing list, and wish to no longer receive this mailing, just let me know. I realize my postings have been fewer these days, but I may go ahead and post for a while just to update you on her ongoing progress and keep you posted as to prayer requests. We are not out of the woods yet, but there are fewer trees between us and where we want to be.

June 25 - Step Three

These have been days rich with blessings and fragrant with joy. I find myself understanding less and less how people can only focus on the negative stuff and overlook the wonders of God all around. Certainly that's easy to say when things seem to be going well, but I assure you there are still plenty of frustrations daunting me. But as I hear of people being upset because of something someone said, or as I hear of people who stay away from God because of disagreements with other people, I find myself being far less compassionate towards them than perhaps I ought to be. But I wonder how angry Jesus would be. After all, he kicked some serious bottom side when clearing the temple. And he certainly had little more to say after the rich young dude walked away. We are so wealthy when it comes to resources and people and support and possibilities that it seems almost blasphemous that we could let individual scuffles get in our way on the course of our journey. If I'm reaching anyone out there who has let in-house anxieties fester in the place where you worship, I would admonish you to wake up. These are not the days for breaking ranks. These are the days when God's people must be strong and return to His heart. Take it from me, one who has learned these things the hard way, life is far too precious to focus only on the bitter, and not taste the far more abundant sweet. Turn your eyes upon Jesus and you will see more wonder than you ever imagined. If you think your eyes on on Him, yet you are being dominated by the negative stuff, you're kidding yourself and you're in true danger.

I had no intention of preaching a sermon today, but this all just flowed out of my heart like honey from the comb. Let me now tell you the good news of the day. I spoke with Barbara just moments ago and she happily informed me that she took THREE STEPS today! Wow! Do 3 steps seem like little to you? They don't seem that way from whence we came. This is yet another example of learning to see the wonderful blessings of God. Perhaps you know that there have been some very good and wonderful health care people along that way that were skeptical that Barbara would ever walk again. My daily prayer, through all of these days, is that this would be the week that Barbara walks again.

We have had some of the most wonderful days together recently. I took Barbara to church Sunday, we ate at our favorite Mexican restaurant, and then spent a beautiful and relaxing day together at home. She has been able to be in the lower "family room/bedroom" area where we have lived most of our lives on these past 2 visits. Max was overjoyed at having her back in her "natural environs" as I suspect he thinks.

Our home assessment last week proved to be better than we thought. We have determined that we can make minimal improvements and make life reasonably tolerable for Barbara at home. There will still need to be work done on the bathroom, but not to the degree we initially expected. We have started down the path of making these improvements, but this will likely be a project that takes a bit of time. Most of what we will do involves widening the door, moving a light switch, adding grab-bars, putting in a new, lower reaching mirror, replace the sink, redo the flooring, replace shower plumbing, and remove shower door to replace with a curtain. There are also other improvements we'll endeavor to make around the house as funds become available. Mostly, though, we will make certain that all improvements will truly be useful to any future pastors inhabiting this parsonage.

Please continue to join us in praying that Barbara will walk this week,

That she will be more able to do things for herself that she wants and needs,

And that my back will hold out!

We love all of you and pray for you as well.

June 18 - The End Is Near

Once again I find myself feeling all apologetic-y over the long dry spell with no blog entries. I am quite certain, though, that your life went on anyway.

As Barbara continues to make slow progress every week, we near another milestone. The end has almost come for the days in the nursing home that Medidontcare allows. She will for sure and certain be returning home to stay on July 10. The future is still a dark glass, though. The wheels grind slowly for Medicaid approval, and we're not all that certain that Barbara's case manager is moving things along at anything more than the pace of a, well, uh, I guess the slow pace of your standard government employee. If you are a government employee, I am quite certain the preceding statement does not apply to you, though.

Last week was the Wabash Annual Conference meeting for Free Methodist Churches in my region. I am happy to report that Barbara and I have been reassigned to GFM for the 5th year. It was so good to feel the overwhelming prayer support of my friends and family in God... even those who barely know us have been lifting us up. There were a couple of occasions when I found myself in tears as I sensed the reality of these prayers descending like a spiritual hurricane. Another wonderful truth solidified itself in my mind at this time. It pertains to the fact that so many of you have asked what you could do for us, and I've told you to pray. Commonly, the response back is that you want to do more than just pray. It occurs to me the way we undervalue prayer! Prayer is the BIGGEST thing you can do for anyone. Prayer supersedes a million dollar check, and new Extreme Makeover home, a new car with a lifetime free gas card, or any other great item that you couldn't give anyway. If you want to give someone the greatest gift of all, don't just say you'll pray, but do so! There's one other fact that attaches itself to this. I am trying to quit asking people how they're doing, or how a loved one who has been facing difficult times is doing. While the outpouring of love in this way is certainly appreciated, it gets quite tiring after a while to respond to these questions ad nauseum. Don't be offended if you yourself have asked this question - that is quite OK with me - its just that for me, I see the need to find a new way of touching the life of someone who is hurting. I'll get back to you on this one when the revelation becomes clearer.

Well, back to the reason why you tune in to this blog. I am gloriously happy to report that Barbara has taken her first step!!!!! She underplays it, saying it was just a small little movement, but I see it as a significant step (one small step for Barbara, one giant step for... oh, never mind). Also, she has been able to stay standing without anyone supporting her. I must also add that as she grows stronger, she is becoming increasingly easier for me to transfer. She's also becoming more and more capable at adjusting herself once in our vehicle.

Among the many things she has been able to do of late, she has now attended church with me each Sunday since the wedding, we've eaten out together on several occasions, she joined me in attending a funeral showing, and I even took her to Michael's craft store last week. She was elated, and said she could spend all day there. In that we've had to postpone the home assessment twice now, tomorrow is the day we anticipate this happening. I will bring her home for the day, and a couple of therapists will visit to assess our home situation.

I have much home cleaning to accomplish since I'm staying home, so I will wrap this up. Please continue to pray that this will be the week that Barbara walks, and that she will be able to master many self-care procedures in the weeks before returning home.