March 29 - In Like A Lion, Out Like A Lion

My time of spiritual retreat with my fellow pastors was extraordinarily wonderful. I am blessed with a group of men and women that are more than colleagues, but are family. They are precious to me in ways that can't be understood outside of experience itself. To those of you who offered words of encouragement, concern, and love, I give my love and thanks. To those who simply supported with presence, I also give my love and gratitude.

You may notice that thanks to a request, I have now included information concerning the history of Barbara's present state in the column to your right. Unless of course you're viewing this from behind the computer screen, in which case you have much bigger problems that I can help you with at this time.

Barbara has undergone a battery of tests and pokes and prods to resolve this long standing issue of a stagnant, non-working stomach. I am extremely pleased with the team of doctors on her case, and am once again overwhelmed at how God's is supplying!!! For those of you who have ultimate faith in science, Barbara's present condition proves the fallibility of that reliance. I'm not anti-science, rather, I believe it works fully in balance with God's other gifts because all good things are of God. Science cannot answer the question as to why Barbara is suffering as she is at this time, so now it comes down to educated guesses, puzzle solving, and simple compassion. These are not things you can answer with computer-like intellect, they take God's gift of heart. The good news/bad news has been that while tests haven't shown anything major to be wrong, they still don't define the problem. So, at this time, they are addressing her adrenal system as well as the communication path between her brain and digestive system. It's actually quite complicated, but perhaps my over-simplified explanation will at least give you a rudimentary understanding. Oh - and yes, the kidney infection continues, but is being treated. We'll know more about that in the days to come.

She continues to be at St. Mary's in Hobart, and will be so for an indeterminate period of time. She is in the new wing of the hospital, and the rooms there are quite beautiful. This is really a lovely hospital. I believe that the staff issues alluded to earlier have been resolved.

Please pray that doctors will crack the code and solve Barbara's eating-digesting-throwing-up-nausea-lack0of-appetite issues once and for all.

Some have remarked about some quality of my life that has seemed to sustain me where others might break down. I don't know if I said that very well, but I must confess that I feel quite weak in my strength. It is all the power of God available to all of us. I wish that I had been a better lay person in my years before the pastorate. I apologize to all my previous pastors that while I heard the Word, I didn't live it as I should have. I'm still developing in this, but I have gained a truer perspective on what it means to be a part of a "church" (not a building, but rather, God's people), and a part of a community. I am but a poor example of what God can do in man, but if anything I do is remarkable, it is not me. It is the face of God that shines through when we allow it to. I shudder to think of the difference we could make in this world if we all allowed God to possess not just our hearts, but our minds, our ambitions, our dreams, our visions, and our lives. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the church today... but there is something deadly wrong with the people. God's church is alive - but we have paralyzed parts of the body by failing to allow God to bring us to life with His resurrection power.

Once there was a little girl. She danced merrily through life changing lives with her mesmerizing smile. One day, this little girl stumbled and fell. For months she couldn't walk or talk, and doctors couldn't figure out why. But then, one day, the girl began to regain her smile. She began to remember why she loved life, and began to remember how her body was supposed to work. Over time, she remembered how her hands loved to create beautiful blankets, and she began to create. Over time, she remembered how she loved to dance, and she began to dance. It was then that she realized that it wasn't that she couldn't move; rather, she had forgotten how it felt to do so. The power wasn't in her to heal; it was within God. She had simply lost the picture of God in her heart. Once she regained it, she regained life. And she lived.

(Thank you, Michael Kelly Blanchard.)

March 27

Hello everyone... I am back from the Pastor/Spouse retreat (going solo, lonely and quite introspective). There are many things to tell about Barbara, and a very good question from the last entry's comments. However, I am quite exhausted, and need to beg a reprieve for one more day.

Just a quick note, though. Barbara continues to undergo tests of various and sundry kinds to help figure out what's going on with her. Quickly, I might also tell you her pressure wound is healing at an incredible pace... the opening is now merely the size of a pencil eraser!!! PRAISE GOD! He is faithful on rainy days, He is faithful on sunny days... praise Him in all things the same.

One other great area of concern is that Barbara is very malnourished. I will write more tomorrow, I hope! Thanks for your BIG prayers.