March 8

We could use a special amount of prayer today as this one has been a rough one on Barbara. The months in the hospital continue to take a toll on her emotionally, and she is very easily upset or depressed. Any number of situations can send her in a downward spiral, and it seems that with each passing day, she becomes more and more vulnerable to discouragement.

Even under the best healthcare situations, things can be less than perfect. There are still some situations that if I don't stay on top of them, they don't get done. Many of you encourage me to get rest or spend more time away, and I have done so. But it is also true that every moment I am away is another moment that something can go wrong or unattended to, and these things all serve to frustrate her already tender emotional state.

The impending days in the nursing home have her terribly upset, despite the fact that I thought she had resigned herself to the idea. I rue the idea of sending her to one of these types of facilities. But I am unable to care for her at the level of attention she still requires.

Please pray diligently for Barbara's emotional health today. It is SO important to her recovery. If you're in the area, and get a chance to stop by, today or tomorrow would be a really good time to do so. It would help her a lot, I'm sure.

One more note. I recognize that every time I open my big fat mouth (or in this case, open my big fat, uh, er, blog...), I take the chance of saying something that someone will misread. I have used this forum not only as a means to keep you posted, but as a way to blow off some of my steam. In doing so, I may have created a false impression about what is going on with insurance. Specifically, in using the word "insurance", I am meaning medicare + our secondary insurance. And while we are running out of days that medicare will pay, I have been alerted that there might be some loopholes that I should pursue, and I am doing so. Some things have gotten back to me that were taken WAY YONDER out of proportion. Let me assure you that the conference, and our insurance team, has been absolutely wonderful to work with, and extremely helpful. They have not complained to me about anything said, but I think I should alert you to these truths before things get really crazy. Also, I realize that the information gets passed around because you really do care for us, and that means the world to me. Thank you for your concern. Please just know that my frustrations with the "system" have nothing to do with my dear friends in the conference. If you have any questions, I would be happy to let you step up to the mic now!

Blessings on you all! Thanks so much for your love and prayers!!!!!!

March 6

Some news differing from what was reported earlier. It is now unlikely that Barbara will be coming home on March 14. Her therapy team met with us yesterday and expressed that they believe it would be far too difficult for me to provide the level of care that she will need. However, insurance will not allow her to stay in rehab beyond the 14th. Frankly, I have been very concerned about the care issue my own little self. However, knowing how devastated Barbara has been at the possibility of going to a nursing home, I had determined to make it work.

At this point, though, Barbara is resigned to the idea that perhaps it would be best for her to take advantage of the 20 days of "skilled nursing care" that medicare provides. What concerns us most is the fact that there are so many problems with so many nursing homes, it is difficult to know which one would be best. Also, the place where we send her would have to provide a higher level of care than your typical facility. We have a list to consider, and I guess that means I have a lot of work on my hands this week as I visit several of these places and try to guess which one would be best.

There is some good news to be parsed out as well. The debridement wound from the pressure sore on the back of her head is healing well, and has gotten smaller! Also, Barbara does continue to gain strength each day. She seems to be able to do more and more each time I see her. Her legs are progressing much more slowly than her arms, though, and she doesn't seem to be close to being able to walk yet.

This nursing home business bothers me for several reasons. One, we all know the reputation of the nursing home industry as a whole. Two, there is the issue of infection control. And three, Barbara cannot tolerate much heat at all. With the meds she takes, she gets very hot, and very weak when she is hot. This is a problem because old folks seem to love heat. There is one room where they take her for rehab that is like an oven. Yet, they say that their older patients complain about it being cold. This will be a big problem. Her nerves are also on edge, and she finds noise to be extraordinarily grating. If she has to share a room, TV will also be a problem... she cannot abide trash TV (nor can I), and most evening fare now scares her for some reason.

So, I guess you can see how I need for you to pray for us today. Pray that we will make the right decision, and that Barbara will thrive and not regress,

Pray for my anxiety levels that I will be calm,

Pray for Jackie as she comes to visit this weekend.

Thanks again to all of you. You're the best! We love you all.

March 4

Sitting here late in the evening I realize I haven't updated you in several days.

Sunday's always a slower day for Barbara. Thanks to our Associate Pastor Brian Jones, who is handling our evening worship service at GFM, I am able to spend the rest of the day at the hospital after morning activities and lunch.

As the day progressed today, she complained more and more about feeling sick. She had some nasty stomach pains. She also has an infection that they're trying to keep under control. Anytime they mention infection, my mind immediately goes back to those scary days in intensive care at Methodist.

I got a different cell phone this week that has one of those ear piece gizmos so that Barbara can now talk to people without me holding the phone. This is a real blessing. She talked with Jackie over an hour today! How wonderful that was. Jackie will be with us next weekend, but unfortunately, Peter won't be along this time. It will be so great to have her here, and I'm sure she's really excited to see how well Barbara has progressed.

It's been a big week, from my excitement early on to special visits and a lot of work at the house. Thanks so much to my dad and Sharon for coming and helping me start the process of preparing the house for Barb's return. Still MUCH work to be done. Also, among those visiting were Lucas and Fayth, 2 kids from GFM. They both pretended to be shy, although managing to sing a song together. Then, Fayth soloed on another song and really belted it out! I've asked her to sing for us next Sunday morning.

The biggest challenge of the week ahead will be when they stand Barbara up for the first time with help of some kind of lift. I am continually amazed at the progress on her arms and hands. She can now do Sodoku puzzles and blow her own nose. Hey - don't laugh - that's big stuff. OK, go ahead and laugh!

Pray that Barbara and I will not get sick as we continue steps towards normalcy (whatever that is),

Pray that her strength and stamina will increase many times over this week,

Pray that her infection will clear QUICKLY,

Pray for Jackie as she travels here, and Peter as he presses on forlornly without her (also pray for Peter and Jackie as they purchase a different car to replace the one Peter "totaled" on icy roads),

Pray that things will progress well as we try to figure out how to make the house more handicap ready.