Barbara's "alertness", if you will, can be a blessing and not so much of a blessing. It is so thrilling when she smiles and responds to us. On the other hand, it is wildly painful to see the looks of distress and anger concerning her present situation. She has been quite pleasant at times, but these last two days, she has looked at us with some of the most heartbreaking expressions.
Jackie read a Christmas story to Barb this morning and it really seemed to relax her. Other times, Barbara has seemed on the verge of tears.
Her white blood cell count had sky-rocketed to 70 yesterday. While it is still high, it is better today being in the 30s.
We're now meeting the "associates" of her regular doctors who will be in over the Christmas weekend.
Otherwise, her heart rate and blood pressure are the best they've been so far.
I've confessed to my family here that this roller coaster ride we're on is about to make me puke! Pardon the ugliness of that statement, but there is no other way to describe it. The constant ups and downs are literally nauseating and dizzying for us.
Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, and I will be attending to both a morning worship service, and a Christmas Eve candlelight service. Pray for me that all goes well, as I am still trying to prepare for the evening service here at the last minute.
Pray that Barbara will experience a spectacular emotional as well as physical healing at this time,
That her kidneys and digestive system will return to good working order,
And that she is able to start moving her body TODAY.
I will be doing a "magic" show for the kids here in the Peds unit on Christmas Day. It almost didn't happen due to political correctness run amuck. Pray that God will use me to touch lives even in a situation where I will not directly be ministering His Word.
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Friday, December 22, 2006
December 22
This is Greg again.
It's difficult to write words when you feel that you're all out of them. If I could find a way to express my anger without seeming to be angry at the wrong things, I would do so. If I could express my fatigue while reassuring you I'm being well taken care of, I'd do so. If I could express my hope and optimism and yet confess my distress and discomfort, I would do so. When it comes to finding the right way to express myself in days like these, I realize that in whatever I say, there is a hair's breadth difference between stupidity and bravery. And, to the naked eye, it's often hard to discern the two.
I prayed for the gift of understanding Barbara's thoughts so that I could be of better help to her in this time that she cannot communicate. Today, I'm feeling utter exhaustion and anxiety at the course this hospital stay is taking. Barbara has indicated to me that she is really, really, really tired of all of this. But at the same time, she seems to want to fight on. There's another paradox for you - ready to give up and ready to go forward at the same time. If you understand that, then you know where we are today.
On the bright side, my sister's family has been here and we just had a lovely time unwrapping gifts together. Barbara was very alert and seemed to really enjoy herself. Jackie and Peter were here as well. We gave pictures of ourselves (mousetraps, as we call them) that had been taken this past summer at GFM for our new directory. I am a great admirer of Peter's photographic skills, and he and Jackie gave me a frame with 1 of this pictures from Jerusalem, and 2 yet to come. All in all, it was a blessed occasion.
Barbara's vitals are decent today, but she's fighting yet another infection. She has been really alert, but also very upset by this ongoing struggle. Her lungs continue to do better, and her neck surgery is looking really good. However, her kidneys are starting to fail again, and her digestive system doesn't seem to want to kick into gear.
We've officially called a halt to all tests that are in the name of "just trying something". She's been poked, gouged, and stuck enough. If the test will be helpful to the big picture situation, and if there is reason to believe it will be of benefit, then we'll allow it. Otherwise, no more jabbing for the sake of jabbing.
I wish that I could tell you that we're all just living in the land of lollipops and dreamcycles when it comes to how this will turn out. However, none of the pictures for the future look all that swell and ooey gooey soft and chewy. That doesn't mean I lack in faith or that I'm questioning God. Rather, I think we're all wondering if this will be the opportunity that God takes to present Barbara with a fully restored, fully healed body free of pain. Our druthers would be for that to happen here. But if not, then we will celebrate an even bigger gain for her. On the other hand, if she is to remain, we wonder if she will ever walk again, or if there will be a point when she'll be off of the respirator. It would be so terribly hurtful for Barbara to be stuck in the hospital and miss Jackie's wedding this coming spring.
Please continue to pray with us for Barbara's complete healing,
That her kidneys would heal,
That her digestive system would restart,
That she would be at peace and free of anxiety or fear,
That we will all have the wisdom that we need and the opportunities to serve our gracious Lord even while here in "prison".
Please be especially at prayer for Jackie and Peter today. They have come to the hard decision to stay here a while longer, meaning that Peter will miss Christmas with his family. My respect for Peter has grown exponentially in realizing that his family is as important to him as mine is to me, and that he loves Jackie so much that this sacrifice is one that he is able to make. Christmas here won't be made up of decorations and special meals - but it will be full of love, and centered in Jesus. To the White family, I will make sure your boy makes it home as soon as possible, and my prayers are with you all at this difficult time for you as well. We haven't met yet, but I do feel a special love in my heart for you simply by knowing Peter, and the great man that he is.
It's difficult to write words when you feel that you're all out of them. If I could find a way to express my anger without seeming to be angry at the wrong things, I would do so. If I could express my fatigue while reassuring you I'm being well taken care of, I'd do so. If I could express my hope and optimism and yet confess my distress and discomfort, I would do so. When it comes to finding the right way to express myself in days like these, I realize that in whatever I say, there is a hair's breadth difference between stupidity and bravery. And, to the naked eye, it's often hard to discern the two.
I prayed for the gift of understanding Barbara's thoughts so that I could be of better help to her in this time that she cannot communicate. Today, I'm feeling utter exhaustion and anxiety at the course this hospital stay is taking. Barbara has indicated to me that she is really, really, really tired of all of this. But at the same time, she seems to want to fight on. There's another paradox for you - ready to give up and ready to go forward at the same time. If you understand that, then you know where we are today.
On the bright side, my sister's family has been here and we just had a lovely time unwrapping gifts together. Barbara was very alert and seemed to really enjoy herself. Jackie and Peter were here as well. We gave pictures of ourselves (mousetraps, as we call them) that had been taken this past summer at GFM for our new directory. I am a great admirer of Peter's photographic skills, and he and Jackie gave me a frame with 1 of this pictures from Jerusalem, and 2 yet to come. All in all, it was a blessed occasion.
Barbara's vitals are decent today, but she's fighting yet another infection. She has been really alert, but also very upset by this ongoing struggle. Her lungs continue to do better, and her neck surgery is looking really good. However, her kidneys are starting to fail again, and her digestive system doesn't seem to want to kick into gear.
We've officially called a halt to all tests that are in the name of "just trying something". She's been poked, gouged, and stuck enough. If the test will be helpful to the big picture situation, and if there is reason to believe it will be of benefit, then we'll allow it. Otherwise, no more jabbing for the sake of jabbing.
I wish that I could tell you that we're all just living in the land of lollipops and dreamcycles when it comes to how this will turn out. However, none of the pictures for the future look all that swell and ooey gooey soft and chewy. That doesn't mean I lack in faith or that I'm questioning God. Rather, I think we're all wondering if this will be the opportunity that God takes to present Barbara with a fully restored, fully healed body free of pain. Our druthers would be for that to happen here. But if not, then we will celebrate an even bigger gain for her. On the other hand, if she is to remain, we wonder if she will ever walk again, or if there will be a point when she'll be off of the respirator. It would be so terribly hurtful for Barbara to be stuck in the hospital and miss Jackie's wedding this coming spring.
Please continue to pray with us for Barbara's complete healing,
That her kidneys would heal,
That her digestive system would restart,
That she would be at peace and free of anxiety or fear,
That we will all have the wisdom that we need and the opportunities to serve our gracious Lord even while here in "prison".
Please be especially at prayer for Jackie and Peter today. They have come to the hard decision to stay here a while longer, meaning that Peter will miss Christmas with his family. My respect for Peter has grown exponentially in realizing that his family is as important to him as mine is to me, and that he loves Jackie so much that this sacrifice is one that he is able to make. Christmas here won't be made up of decorations and special meals - but it will be full of love, and centered in Jesus. To the White family, I will make sure your boy makes it home as soon as possible, and my prayers are with you all at this difficult time for you as well. We haven't met yet, but I do feel a special love in my heart for you simply by knowing Peter, and the great man that he is.
Thursday, December 21, 2006
December 21
Today is another challenging day. We arrived at the hospital to see physical and occupational therapists working to move Mom's arms and legs around. We noticed a couple of huge blisters on her legs that looked very painful though. The doctors have ordered for some fluid to be taken out and tested from one of them. The nurse just took care of that. In other news, her white blood cell count jumped overnight from 20-something to about 70-something, which is indicative of some sort of infection. They are at this point still unsure of where this infection is located because all of her culture tests have come back negative so far.
Yesterday an extra line (I believe it is called a femeral line) was put in to administer some different medication to get her heart rate down. This medication could not be mixed with some of the others going through her other lines, so a procedure was done to put another one in. The medication seems to be doing its work as her heart rate has dropped from about 150 beats per minute to about 125 beats per minute. This is still somewhat high, but not nearly as dangerous. Her blood pressure is remaining pretty low today, and she has maxed out on the medication she is able to receive in order to raise it. One of her doctors gave the report that she has gone somewhat backwards in her progress due to the infections plaguing her body.
These days she has that are "bad" seem to take a toll on her ability to be responsive. I am not sure if it is due to exhaustion or if the infections are clouding her mind. Dad's sister Stephanie, her husband John, and their three children are coming into town today to stay for a few days. We will be celebrating Christmas together as best we can. It will be good to just be together. I just hope that Mom will be able to feel all the love around her.
Here's how you can be praying for Barbara today:
-that her blood pressure would be able to increase
-that her heart would remain strong
-that whatever infections she has could be pinpointed, contained, and combatted
-that she would feel peace in her heart
-that she would not be experiencing physical pain
-that she would be able to find sweet rest today
-that God would continue to work mightily and speedily
-that she would be able to have a nice visit with the Bates family today and that the children would brighten her spirits.
Yesterday an extra line (I believe it is called a femeral line) was put in to administer some different medication to get her heart rate down. This medication could not be mixed with some of the others going through her other lines, so a procedure was done to put another one in. The medication seems to be doing its work as her heart rate has dropped from about 150 beats per minute to about 125 beats per minute. This is still somewhat high, but not nearly as dangerous. Her blood pressure is remaining pretty low today, and she has maxed out on the medication she is able to receive in order to raise it. One of her doctors gave the report that she has gone somewhat backwards in her progress due to the infections plaguing her body.
These days she has that are "bad" seem to take a toll on her ability to be responsive. I am not sure if it is due to exhaustion or if the infections are clouding her mind. Dad's sister Stephanie, her husband John, and their three children are coming into town today to stay for a few days. We will be celebrating Christmas together as best we can. It will be good to just be together. I just hope that Mom will be able to feel all the love around her.
Here's how you can be praying for Barbara today:
-that her blood pressure would be able to increase
-that her heart would remain strong
-that whatever infections she has could be pinpointed, contained, and combatted
-that she would feel peace in her heart
-that she would not be experiencing physical pain
-that she would be able to find sweet rest today
-that God would continue to work mightily and speedily
-that she would be able to have a nice visit with the Bates family today and that the children would brighten her spirits.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
December 20
Hi. This is Jackie. Dad's been keeping you all very well up to date, but I thought I would go ahead and post something anyway. Yesterday everything seemed to be looking up. Mom was as responsive as she'd been in quite a while. She was also as focused as she'd been in a while. She was able to shake her head some to yes or no questions, was able to wiggle her toes a few times on command, and able to also move her arms. This of course was good news to the doctor's report that she had a spinal cord injury and may or may not recover the use of her limbs. I feel like any small movement is a big and exciting accomplishment. I only hope it's not patronizing to her as I praise her for those small but exciting accomplishments.
It of course has been frustrating to not be able to know the thoughts going on inside of her head, but I am sure it is nothing compared to what she is feeling. She has shown to be somewhat upset at times, but overall has had a very pleasant demeanor through it all. She has been releatively wide-eyed and smiley. These signs of life are encouraging.
Today has been a bit discouraging with her heart rate as high as it is and her lowered level of responsiveness. The times I have walked into her room to talk to her, she has not moved her eyes from the television. I am hoping it is just her exhaustion from her heart rate being elevated overnight. I wish the doctors could figure out why she has been on this track of having bad days every two or three days. It's frustrating not knowing what is causing it.
I am uncertain of where this road is taking us. And while I am confident that everything will play out in God's timing, I am trying to sway his mind in the direction of speeding things up a bit. I guess it never hurts to try. I will say that this hard journey has been somewhat easier because of the love many of you have shown to our family though this. Thank you to all who have cooked for us, given gifts, and helped Peter and I in replacing what was lost in the break-in. Your kindness and love have been the presence of Christ to us in this hard time.
It of course has been frustrating to not be able to know the thoughts going on inside of her head, but I am sure it is nothing compared to what she is feeling. She has shown to be somewhat upset at times, but overall has had a very pleasant demeanor through it all. She has been releatively wide-eyed and smiley. These signs of life are encouraging.
Today has been a bit discouraging with her heart rate as high as it is and her lowered level of responsiveness. The times I have walked into her room to talk to her, she has not moved her eyes from the television. I am hoping it is just her exhaustion from her heart rate being elevated overnight. I wish the doctors could figure out why she has been on this track of having bad days every two or three days. It's frustrating not knowing what is causing it.
I am uncertain of where this road is taking us. And while I am confident that everything will play out in God's timing, I am trying to sway his mind in the direction of speeding things up a bit. I guess it never hurts to try. I will say that this hard journey has been somewhat easier because of the love many of you have shown to our family though this. Thank you to all who have cooked for us, given gifts, and helped Peter and I in replacing what was lost in the break-in. Your kindness and love have been the presence of Christ to us in this hard time.
Finding Fayth
I had called my sister this morning and her young son answered. I told him we were looking forward to his impending visit, but that we had been unable to put up any Christmas decorations. He assured me that was just fine. But then I realized that the most beautiful Christmas decoration I could see this year is Barbara's smile. It's amazing how something like that can really change the face of an entire day. At risk of telling something too private to share, I can't resist mentioning that after telling her that I loved her at one point yesterday, she mouthed the words, "I love you, too." Jackie saw her do that too and it melted our hearts.
Today, Barbara is having a more challenging day. But you know what I've continually said - she seems to have 2 good days, then one bad. Her heart rate is quite high again, and her blood pressure is low. She is laboring to breathe more, and as of this morning, a bit less responsive. This is why I mentioned in my last post that we're trying to stay on an even keel emotionally - not getting too excited on the good days, and not getting too down on the bad. Or, to put it another way, expecting the best yet prepared for the worst. Don't take that as a bad thing - I truly expect God's magnificent healing to take place. It's just that I've also learned you don't spend this much time in the hospital without becoming a pragmatist (or losing your mind, which ever comes first!).
Speaking of the latter, I must apologize if I got a bit testy at the end of my last post. I have discovered a method of both posting here, and then forwarding it as an email, that seems to work. After all these days here, as well as all this time traversing Merrillville traffic (it's always bad - but this time of year it is horrible), my nerves are frayed. I'm sure most of you are already prepared to extend me extra grace. However, for my own spiritual well-being, I need to apologize for being a bit short with any of you.
Let me end by sharing something very special with you. We have been praying special prayers for Barbara at the start of our worship services on Sunday mornings. Last Sunday, I fe
lt like I was out of words to pray, and asked the Lord to help me think of someone who would be appropriate to lift Barbara's health to the Lord. He gave me the perfect person. It was someone who has been praying regularly for Barbara, even stopping throughout the day to say a prayer for her. It was someone whose prayer I was sure God loved. It was someone who is as sold out to Jesus as she could be. So, I invited this person to come forward. You could hear praises and applause as Fayth (pictured at right) stepped up to the platform. Fayth is about 6 years old. She prayed a beautiful, sweet, eloquent prayer that left tears in many eyes. I am so thankful for people like Fayth, her mommy and daddy who are also precious people, and the many other "family" members God has given me here at GFM.
Today, Barbara is having a more challenging day. But you know what I've continually said - she seems to have 2 good days, then one bad. Her heart rate is quite high again, and her blood pressure is low. She is laboring to breathe more, and as of this morning, a bit less responsive. This is why I mentioned in my last post that we're trying to stay on an even keel emotionally - not getting too excited on the good days, and not getting too down on the bad. Or, to put it another way, expecting the best yet prepared for the worst. Don't take that as a bad thing - I truly expect God's magnificent healing to take place. It's just that I've also learned you don't spend this much time in the hospital without becoming a pragmatist (or losing your mind, which ever comes first!).
Speaking of the latter, I must apologize if I got a bit testy at the end of my last post. I have discovered a method of both posting here, and then forwarding it as an email, that seems to work. After all these days here, as well as all this time traversing Merrillville traffic (it's always bad - but this time of year it is horrible), my nerves are frayed. I'm sure most of you are already prepared to extend me extra grace. However, for my own spiritual well-being, I need to apologize for being a bit short with any of you.
Let me end by sharing something very special with you. We have been praying special prayers for Barbara at the start of our worship services on Sunday mornings. Last Sunday, I fe
lt like I was out of words to pray, and asked the Lord to help me think of someone who would be appropriate to lift Barbara's health to the Lord. He gave me the perfect person. It was someone who has been praying regularly for Barbara, even stopping throughout the day to say a prayer for her. It was someone whose prayer I was sure God loved. It was someone who is as sold out to Jesus as she could be. So, I invited this person to come forward. You could hear praises and applause as Fayth (pictured at right) stepped up to the platform. Fayth is about 6 years old. She prayed a beautiful, sweet, eloquent prayer that left tears in many eyes. I am so thankful for people like Fayth, her mommy and daddy who are also precious people, and the many other "family" members God has given me here at GFM.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
December 19
I've probably mentioned before how our outlook ebbs and flows with Barbara's health any particular day. These last 2 days have definitely been quite uplifting ones for us. We're trying to be careful and stay on an even keel - that way we can have a steady hope and confidence while waiting not so patiently(!).
She has been very responsive with facial gestures and trying to mouth words today. She smiles at us often, and seems to be in surprisingly good spirits. We've turned the Food Network, Dr. Phil, and other favorites of hers on the TV, and she's seemed to enjoy watching them. A nurse from the other night said she seemed to be laughing at "Everybody Loves Raymond".
Her respirator has been turned down to deliver just 40% oxygen, and she has responded very well. Her lung doctor is extremely pleased.
Dr. Rifai, her neuro-surgeon, told us that she made his day today with how well she responded.
She's still not moving her arms and legs much - and when she does, she indicates she didn't do so purposely. The trauma she had to her spinal column probably explains all of this. The lung doctor did tell us that she'll probably be on the respirator as long as her arms cannot move, since those two areas of the body operate in the same part of the spine.
Progress has been slow, and it's pretty easy for everyone to remind us to be patient. I just hope you never get stuck on this end of the "waiting" game! Some of you know exactly what I'm talking about.
Please join us in praying that her spinal functions kick into gear TODAY,
That her body is cleared of all infections TODAY,
That she begins a rapid recovery with better health than she's had in years.
We love all of you very much, and truly appreciate your words of encouragement.
I'm sorry that some of you are so unhappy about us switching from email to a blog. This is so, so, so much easier on us this way. However, I will continue to email these to you if you just let me know.
Greg
She has been very responsive with facial gestures and trying to mouth words today. She smiles at us often, and seems to be in surprisingly good spirits. We've turned the Food Network, Dr. Phil, and other favorites of hers on the TV, and she's seemed to enjoy watching them. A nurse from the other night said she seemed to be laughing at "Everybody Loves Raymond".
Her respirator has been turned down to deliver just 40% oxygen, and she has responded very well. Her lung doctor is extremely pleased.
Dr. Rifai, her neuro-surgeon, told us that she made his day today with how well she responded.
She's still not moving her arms and legs much - and when she does, she indicates she didn't do so purposely. The trauma she had to her spinal column probably explains all of this. The lung doctor did tell us that she'll probably be on the respirator as long as her arms cannot move, since those two areas of the body operate in the same part of the spine.
Progress has been slow, and it's pretty easy for everyone to remind us to be patient. I just hope you never get stuck on this end of the "waiting" game! Some of you know exactly what I'm talking about.
Please join us in praying that her spinal functions kick into gear TODAY,
That her body is cleared of all infections TODAY,
That she begins a rapid recovery with better health than she's had in years.
We love all of you very much, and truly appreciate your words of encouragement.
I'm sorry that some of you are so unhappy about us switching from email to a blog. This is so, so, so much easier on us this way. However, I will continue to email these to you if you just let me know.
Greg
Monday, December 18, 2006
December 18 - second update
I just spoke with one of the doctors in our nuero-surgeon's office. He tells me that Barbara's lack of movement is, in his opinion, related to the spinal cord injury. He believes that her chances for recovering at least some movement are good due to the fact that she feels pain and other stimulus in her extremities.
He believes that she could recover none, part or all of her movement, and it could take little to much time.
Barbara has been smiling at us a lot today and is very pleasantly aware of what is going on around her.
He believes that she could recover none, part or all of her movement, and it could take little to much time.
Barbara has been smiling at us a lot today and is very pleasantly aware of what is going on around her.
December 18
This is the first fresh update posted directly to this blog. Please note that all previous posts contain the accurate date in the title, not the "date posted" item at the bottom of the posting.
After a grueling weekend, Barbara seems to be doing very well today. Her heart rate is still high, but down considerably from where it was. Her blood pressure is now in a healthier range. Plus, her oxygen levels have continued at 100%, so the respirator has been lowered to deliver 45% oxygen.
She is as alert today as I've seen her for quite some time. She is smiling often, focusing her eyes on us well, and responding appropriately. We've had the TV on for her (Food Network mostly - one of her favorites) and she has been watching without her eyes wandering.
She still can't move her limbs well, but considering the big setback of the weekend, her responses to us today have been WONDERFUL.
Janie, from our church, will be coming to do her nails shortly (they've gotton long!). We hope this will help her feel a little more human today.
We have been trying not to get too excited on either the good or bad days. It's hard for our emotions not to ride with her progress, but we know these facts to be true:
1. She is not out of the woods yet - still in critical condition,
2. This probably won't resolve overnight,
3. She is in BIG hands... God is with us!
Please join us in praying today that she now experiences a speedy recovery,
That her heart holds strong,
That her body clears of all infections and other debilitating issues,
That her joints stay limber,
That her neck continues to heal.
We had a wonderful day of worship yesterday, and the love of God's people thrilled me, held me, and encouraged me. It's so good to have Jackie and Peter here this week, too.
Greg
After a grueling weekend, Barbara seems to be doing very well today. Her heart rate is still high, but down considerably from where it was. Her blood pressure is now in a healthier range. Plus, her oxygen levels have continued at 100%, so the respirator has been lowered to deliver 45% oxygen.
She is as alert today as I've seen her for quite some time. She is smiling often, focusing her eyes on us well, and responding appropriately. We've had the TV on for her (Food Network mostly - one of her favorites) and she has been watching without her eyes wandering.
She still can't move her limbs well, but considering the big setback of the weekend, her responses to us today have been WONDERFUL.
Janie, from our church, will be coming to do her nails shortly (they've gotton long!). We hope this will help her feel a little more human today.
We have been trying not to get too excited on either the good or bad days. It's hard for our emotions not to ride with her progress, but we know these facts to be true:
1. She is not out of the woods yet - still in critical condition,
2. This probably won't resolve overnight,
3. She is in BIG hands... God is with us!
Please join us in praying today that she now experiences a speedy recovery,
That her heart holds strong,
That her body clears of all infections and other debilitating issues,
That her joints stay limber,
That her neck continues to heal.
We had a wonderful day of worship yesterday, and the love of God's people thrilled me, held me, and encouraged me. It's so good to have Jackie and Peter here this week, too.
Greg
December 16
We’ve all been encouraged by the good reports for Barbara, but we should still keep in mind that she remains very sick and in critical condition. I say that to brace us all for the fact that last night, as they were preparing Barbara for an MRI, she stopped breathing and her heart stopped. They bagged her and performed CPR, and brought her back to a relatively stable condition. They don’t know what caused this, and the MRI was not done.
This morning she has a very high heart rate and a low blood pressure. The lung doctor told us the medical name of a condition they now believe her to be in, but the oversimplified version of it is that she’s having a hard time overcoming the carbon dioxide build up in her body. She is very, very sick and in a very tenuous condition right now. They have assured me that they are doing all they can – but the problem is just that – there doesn’t seem to be much else they can do to pull her out of all the things she’s being plagued with at this time. She is laboring to breathe, and looks absolutely miserable.
She is somewhat alert at times, but we’re not sure what she knows. She smiled at us a little this morning, but still seems very confused. This is also a great concern of mine. The doctor’s don’t understand why she hasn’t come around after a week or so off of the sedatives. That is why they were doing the MRI.
On another note, I am thankful to everyone for their expressions of concern and generosity in the wake of the break-in and robbery with Peter’s car as it was parked at our home. It’s tough for me not to feel “responsible” - but I guess that must be a natural response when somebody violates your family under your watch this way. Several of you have suggested what you would like to do to the person who would do something like this – not only at this time of year – but considering the other stresses we’ve gone through. I would just say that I only feel sorry for the parties involved. They obviously don’t have the hope in Christ that we have, and they are working their way through a life that seems destined for hurt and pain at this point. The things they took, though of earthly value, are still just “stuff”. I’m thankful that Peter and Jackie are well, and that they have the hope of Christ in their hearts. No one can ever steal that from them.
Please join us in praying today that Barbara’s vitals will once again grow stronger and healthier,
That her body will be cleared of all infection and disease,
That her mind will clear and she will be able to move,
That her heart will strengthen,
And that God will move more quickly on all of these things!
Many of you remind me that this will take a long time. Frankly, I’m tired of the wait. I am continuing to pray BIG Zechariah type prayers. I’m reminded of this:
Isaiah 38:1-5 (NLT)
About that time Hezekiah became deathly ill, and the prophet Isaiah son of Amoz went to visit him. He gave the king this message: "This is what the Lord says: Set your affairs in order, for you are going to die. You will not recover from this illness." When Hezekiah heard this, he turned his face to the wall and prayed to the Lord, "Remember, O Lord, how I have always tried to be faithful to you and do what is pleasing in your sight." Then he broke down and wept bitterly. Then this message came to Isaiah from the Lord: "Go back to Hezekiah and tell him, 'This is what the Lord, the God of your ancestor David, says: I have heard your prayer and seen your tears. I will add fifteen years to your life.
Enough said!
Greg
This morning she has a very high heart rate and a low blood pressure. The lung doctor told us the medical name of a condition they now believe her to be in, but the oversimplified version of it is that she’s having a hard time overcoming the carbon dioxide build up in her body. She is very, very sick and in a very tenuous condition right now. They have assured me that they are doing all they can – but the problem is just that – there doesn’t seem to be much else they can do to pull her out of all the things she’s being plagued with at this time. She is laboring to breathe, and looks absolutely miserable.
She is somewhat alert at times, but we’re not sure what she knows. She smiled at us a little this morning, but still seems very confused. This is also a great concern of mine. The doctor’s don’t understand why she hasn’t come around after a week or so off of the sedatives. That is why they were doing the MRI.
On another note, I am thankful to everyone for their expressions of concern and generosity in the wake of the break-in and robbery with Peter’s car as it was parked at our home. It’s tough for me not to feel “responsible” - but I guess that must be a natural response when somebody violates your family under your watch this way. Several of you have suggested what you would like to do to the person who would do something like this – not only at this time of year – but considering the other stresses we’ve gone through. I would just say that I only feel sorry for the parties involved. They obviously don’t have the hope in Christ that we have, and they are working their way through a life that seems destined for hurt and pain at this point. The things they took, though of earthly value, are still just “stuff”. I’m thankful that Peter and Jackie are well, and that they have the hope of Christ in their hearts. No one can ever steal that from them.
Please join us in praying today that Barbara’s vitals will once again grow stronger and healthier,
That her body will be cleared of all infection and disease,
That her mind will clear and she will be able to move,
That her heart will strengthen,
And that God will move more quickly on all of these things!
Many of you remind me that this will take a long time. Frankly, I’m tired of the wait. I am continuing to pray BIG Zechariah type prayers. I’m reminded of this:
Isaiah 38:1-5 (NLT)
About that time Hezekiah became deathly ill, and the prophet Isaiah son of Amoz went to visit him. He gave the king this message: "This is what the Lord says: Set your affairs in order, for you are going to die. You will not recover from this illness." When Hezekiah heard this, he turned his face to the wall and prayed to the Lord, "Remember, O Lord, how I have always tried to be faithful to you and do what is pleasing in your sight." Then he broke down and wept bitterly. Then this message came to Isaiah from the Lord: "Go back to Hezekiah and tell him, 'This is what the Lord, the God of your ancestor David, says: I have heard your prayer and seen your tears. I will add fifteen years to your life.
Enough said!
Greg
December 14
Barbara has bounced back from her bad day and has been making some good progress. She seems very alert, and is responding to things we say. She has been smiling at us too, which is wonderful to see. When I told her that Jackie would arrive yesterday afternoon, she smiled. She has also mouthed a few words and has rolled her eyes when told she was about to have another test. She also has moved her legs, toes, and right arm a little. However, she does tire out very quickly, and so her moments of responsiveness are limited. However, it’s a good start. There are some things that still concern me, but we seem to be showing signs that she’s finally coming back around. She’s not out of the woods yet, but days like these restore our hope.
Her respirator oxygen level is now down to 50%, and she is breathing more breaths on her own. The lung doctor is very happy with her progress in what was once the area of greatest concern.
Her blood pressure is back to a good level, but her heart rate continues to be high. She is also bleeding internally somewhere, and they’re having trouble finding out just where or why.
There still are various and sundry things the doctors are trying to figure, fix or find. Infections continue to be an issue and her temperature can raise to 102 with regularity. They are also having a really hard time getting her stomach and digestive system to work again. However, we are quite pleased with the progress, albeit slow.
I don’t believe in “bad luck” or “when it rains it pours” philosophies, but we certainly have had our share of storms lately. Last night, Jackie stayed at the hospital with Barbara and her fiancé Peter came to our house for the night. This morning, we awoke to find that his car had been broken into and many of its contents taken. The passenger side window was smashed, and the trunk was opened. Among the missing stuff was most of Jackie’s clothes and a nice winter coat, her MP3 player, Peter’s digital camera, many books he’d just purchased to begin working on a January class, Peter’s dirty clothes (!!!), etc. Some stuff was left, including a container of brownies, so obviously the thief wasn’t terribly bright! Beyond all the loss of items stolen, this is just a plain old kick in the gut! Insurance will cover the damage to the car, but there is no policy in place that will cover the contents. Keep us in your prayers for this, too.
Our head trustee tells me that this is the first break in at the church or parsonage since it located in Griffith in the mid 60s. So, if you’d like me to send you an autographed piece of broken auto glass to commemorate this great achievement… oh, never mind!
Thank you all for your continued and far-reaching prayers and acts of love.
Greg
PS… Jackie just came into the room and told me that they found her MP3 player still in the car. OK, explain that one to me. They stole the dirty underwear and seminary books, but left the Dell player. They had also torn up his dashboard, but seemed to be unable to get the radio out. They did, however, steal the face plate from the radio. Weird.
Her respirator oxygen level is now down to 50%, and she is breathing more breaths on her own. The lung doctor is very happy with her progress in what was once the area of greatest concern.
Her blood pressure is back to a good level, but her heart rate continues to be high. She is also bleeding internally somewhere, and they’re having trouble finding out just where or why.
There still are various and sundry things the doctors are trying to figure, fix or find. Infections continue to be an issue and her temperature can raise to 102 with regularity. They are also having a really hard time getting her stomach and digestive system to work again. However, we are quite pleased with the progress, albeit slow.
I don’t believe in “bad luck” or “when it rains it pours” philosophies, but we certainly have had our share of storms lately. Last night, Jackie stayed at the hospital with Barbara and her fiancé Peter came to our house for the night. This morning, we awoke to find that his car had been broken into and many of its contents taken. The passenger side window was smashed, and the trunk was opened. Among the missing stuff was most of Jackie’s clothes and a nice winter coat, her MP3 player, Peter’s digital camera, many books he’d just purchased to begin working on a January class, Peter’s dirty clothes (!!!), etc. Some stuff was left, including a container of brownies, so obviously the thief wasn’t terribly bright! Beyond all the loss of items stolen, this is just a plain old kick in the gut! Insurance will cover the damage to the car, but there is no policy in place that will cover the contents. Keep us in your prayers for this, too.
Our head trustee tells me that this is the first break in at the church or parsonage since it located in Griffith in the mid 60s. So, if you’d like me to send you an autographed piece of broken auto glass to commemorate this great achievement… oh, never mind!
Thank you all for your continued and far-reaching prayers and acts of love.
Greg
PS… Jackie just came into the room and told me that they found her MP3 player still in the car. OK, explain that one to me. They stole the dirty underwear and seminary books, but left the Dell player. They had also torn up his dashboard, but seemed to be unable to get the radio out. They did, however, steal the face plate from the radio. Weird.
December 12
Barbara seems to insist on holding to her pattern: 2 good days, then 1 really bad one. I hope that today she’s getting this bad day out of the way so she can be better tomorrow when Jackie and Peter arrive here (our daughter and future son-in-law for those of you unsure of the connection!).
There seems to be multiple things going wrong today. Her blood pressure plummeted overnight. The problem is multiplied by several factors… her heart rate remains elevated, and most blood pressure treatments will raise a heart rate… and she is maxed out on the current meds she’s receiving for this problem. AAAhhh!
Her stomach still isn’t working properly, and overnight she threw up. Also, she is losing a large amount of blood.
The doctors are concerned that she has been off of her sedation all of these days now, and still is only minimally responding (pain is her biggest response). She is horribly responsive to any stimuli as being painful. But she has yet to e able to move any of her extremities on her own. She does respond to me with her eyes, but at times, she seems vacant. I asked her last night to blink if she knew who I was, and she didn’t blink. This is all beginning to become VERY disconcerting. They have done a CT scan, and are considering other tests to find out what is going on.
It’s interesting that her surgeon came in last night and when he found out how well her lungs were doing, and that she had been responsive with her eyes, said, “You just made my day!” I hope that this is just Barbara being slow to come off her sedation.
She is back on 100% oxygen from the respirator today after being down to 60% last night. As for her reaction to pain, the nurse says that she looks like she’s screaming, except that it has no sound due to the trach.
Please lift me up in prayer today. These bad days really suck the life out of me, as many of you know from personal experience.
Pray that Barb comes out of the sedation with all things working properly mentally and physically,
That they find the source of the bleeding and get it under control,
That her stomach begins to work well, and that all her digestive systems come back to life,
That her blood pressure and heart rate stabilizes,
And that the pain subsides and God works a miracle to cause her joints to stay limber.
Remember Jackie and Peter as they travel here from Wilmore, KY, tomorrow – a 6 hour journey. Today is Peter’s birthday – so, happy birthday, Peter!! Pray also that they will be able to formulate good, workable plans for Christmas here and in Oklahoma where Peter lives.
As you may know, Barbara is the one who really helped me keep track of cards for thank-yous, birthdays, and Christmas. Please accept my apologies for not keeping up with those, but I assure you, your many acts of kindness have been appreciated to the extreme.
Greg
There seems to be multiple things going wrong today. Her blood pressure plummeted overnight. The problem is multiplied by several factors… her heart rate remains elevated, and most blood pressure treatments will raise a heart rate… and she is maxed out on the current meds she’s receiving for this problem. AAAhhh!
Her stomach still isn’t working properly, and overnight she threw up. Also, she is losing a large amount of blood.
The doctors are concerned that she has been off of her sedation all of these days now, and still is only minimally responding (pain is her biggest response). She is horribly responsive to any stimuli as being painful. But she has yet to e able to move any of her extremities on her own. She does respond to me with her eyes, but at times, she seems vacant. I asked her last night to blink if she knew who I was, and she didn’t blink. This is all beginning to become VERY disconcerting. They have done a CT scan, and are considering other tests to find out what is going on.
It’s interesting that her surgeon came in last night and when he found out how well her lungs were doing, and that she had been responsive with her eyes, said, “You just made my day!” I hope that this is just Barbara being slow to come off her sedation.
She is back on 100% oxygen from the respirator today after being down to 60% last night. As for her reaction to pain, the nurse says that she looks like she’s screaming, except that it has no sound due to the trach.
Please lift me up in prayer today. These bad days really suck the life out of me, as many of you know from personal experience.
Pray that Barb comes out of the sedation with all things working properly mentally and physically,
That they find the source of the bleeding and get it under control,
That her stomach begins to work well, and that all her digestive systems come back to life,
That her blood pressure and heart rate stabilizes,
And that the pain subsides and God works a miracle to cause her joints to stay limber.
Remember Jackie and Peter as they travel here from Wilmore, KY, tomorrow – a 6 hour journey. Today is Peter’s birthday – so, happy birthday, Peter!! Pray also that they will be able to formulate good, workable plans for Christmas here and in Oklahoma where Peter lives.
As you may know, Barbara is the one who really helped me keep track of cards for thank-yous, birthdays, and Christmas. Please accept my apologies for not keeping up with those, but I assure you, your many acts of kindness have been appreciated to the extreme.
Greg
December 11
After a bad day on Saturday, Barbara bounced back to have a great day on Sunday, and things are shaping up well for today.
Since good news has been scarce, we’ve been grabbing hold of every positive thing and putting our attention there. I am happy to report that Barbara is now on a normal breathing pattern on the respirator. She has been getting 70% oxygen, and since her body’s oxygen levels have stayed around 100%(!), they plan on reducing the respirator level further today. She is also being brought out of sedation, which is proving to be a nerve wracking process for me. It will take several days before she really comes out of it due to the long period under the influence. She is starting to track people and respond to people with her eyes. She definitely responds to pain with some pretty horrifying grimaces. I believe she is probably in severe pain due to weeks of immobility. The lung doctor continues to be upbeat about the daily progress she’s making.
There are still some issues that I won’t go into here, but suffice it to say your continued prayers are needed. I’m also coming to the realization that while these days have been emotionally difficult for us, assuming that Barbara continues to make progress, the hardest days are yet ahead. If things continue to go well, and I believe they will, she will have some excruciating days of physical therapy ahead to try to restore joint function. Plus, we have yet to determine just how successful the surgeries on her neck will prove to be. Perhaps God will choose to work miraculously in that area providing for a smooth transition back to normalcy.
Please help us pray that as she comes out of sedation, she will respond well to the tracheotomy, and that her brain functions will be unaffected by all that she’s been through,
That the infections will clear once and for all,
That her body will move quickly to wellness,
That all will be well with her neck and in her joints.
Thanks again for all your prayers and encouraging words. I continue to be overwhelmed by all the prayers and petitions on our behalf. God has provided many people to bless me in unique and special ways along the course of this journey. I wish I could tell you all the stories, but some things are probably better kept sacred and private.
Greg
Since good news has been scarce, we’ve been grabbing hold of every positive thing and putting our attention there. I am happy to report that Barbara is now on a normal breathing pattern on the respirator. She has been getting 70% oxygen, and since her body’s oxygen levels have stayed around 100%(!), they plan on reducing the respirator level further today. She is also being brought out of sedation, which is proving to be a nerve wracking process for me. It will take several days before she really comes out of it due to the long period under the influence. She is starting to track people and respond to people with her eyes. She definitely responds to pain with some pretty horrifying grimaces. I believe she is probably in severe pain due to weeks of immobility. The lung doctor continues to be upbeat about the daily progress she’s making.
There are still some issues that I won’t go into here, but suffice it to say your continued prayers are needed. I’m also coming to the realization that while these days have been emotionally difficult for us, assuming that Barbara continues to make progress, the hardest days are yet ahead. If things continue to go well, and I believe they will, she will have some excruciating days of physical therapy ahead to try to restore joint function. Plus, we have yet to determine just how successful the surgeries on her neck will prove to be. Perhaps God will choose to work miraculously in that area providing for a smooth transition back to normalcy.
Please help us pray that as she comes out of sedation, she will respond well to the tracheotomy, and that her brain functions will be unaffected by all that she’s been through,
That the infections will clear once and for all,
That her body will move quickly to wellness,
That all will be well with her neck and in her joints.
Thanks again for all your prayers and encouraging words. I continue to be overwhelmed by all the prayers and petitions on our behalf. God has provided many people to bless me in unique and special ways along the course of this journey. I wish I could tell you all the stories, but some things are probably better kept sacred and private.
Greg
December 9
Barbara’s journey towards healing of one kind or another has been an amalgam of positive and disheartening events. After several days of progress, she has taken some steps backwards again.
On the up side, her lungs continue to clear. In fact, they are now setting her respirator to a normal breathing pattern and reducing her sedative substantially. As of this writing she still continues to be mostly non-responsive, though.
The down side is that she has had a high temperature (103) for quite a while now. Her blood pressure was quite low and heart rate quite high this morning. However, they seem to have them moving a little closer to the range they desire. The lung doctor told us that he now believes she is in septic shock. This basically is a whole-body reaction to infection. If you are curious to find out more about this, here is a link that I used:
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000668.htm
Her lungs are doing so much better, and her oxygen levels are strong. But the mysterious infections are still raging inside of her, and the doctors are still trying to help her body fight.
Please pray that these infections will be immediately lifted, and that her body recovers from the septic shock.
Also, continue to pray for her lungs, kidneys, and of course – the neck surgery.
Tomorrow I will continue the sermon series, “Do Not Be Afraid” (considering that my last series was about being thankful even when your world is falling apart, it seems God’s providence is once again apparent). I will be encouraging our people to examine the lesson of Zechariah, and to not be afraid of the big things of God. One of the big things that I find in Zechariah’s story is to PRAY BIG. Thank you for your continued BIG prayers for Barbara’s complete healing.
Greg
On the up side, her lungs continue to clear. In fact, they are now setting her respirator to a normal breathing pattern and reducing her sedative substantially. As of this writing she still continues to be mostly non-responsive, though.
The down side is that she has had a high temperature (103) for quite a while now. Her blood pressure was quite low and heart rate quite high this morning. However, they seem to have them moving a little closer to the range they desire. The lung doctor told us that he now believes she is in septic shock. This basically is a whole-body reaction to infection. If you are curious to find out more about this, here is a link that I used:
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000668.htm
Her lungs are doing so much better, and her oxygen levels are strong. But the mysterious infections are still raging inside of her, and the doctors are still trying to help her body fight.
Please pray that these infections will be immediately lifted, and that her body recovers from the septic shock.
Also, continue to pray for her lungs, kidneys, and of course – the neck surgery.
Tomorrow I will continue the sermon series, “Do Not Be Afraid” (considering that my last series was about being thankful even when your world is falling apart, it seems God’s providence is once again apparent). I will be encouraging our people to examine the lesson of Zechariah, and to not be afraid of the big things of God. One of the big things that I find in Zechariah’s story is to PRAY BIG. Thank you for your continued BIG prayers for Barbara’s complete healing.
Greg
December 8
I’ve asked myself why people seem to be drawn to these updates, when I tend to think everyone should be tired of hearing from me by now. I’ve concluded, from your replies, that sharing the daily drama with me helps everyone to know how to pray. Plus, I’m certainly aware of how much love and compassion there is out there for Barbara. Thank you so much for every outpouring of love. With all the attention I’ve given to Barbara, I have not kept track of your acts of generosity like I wish I could have. I’m sure you will all tell me that you understand, but I still want to make sure you know that even if I fail to send a personal thank you, everything that has been done for us has been deeply appreciated.
As we try to make sense of the really bad stuff that happens to us in our life, I realize that God can use even the darkest days for good. I began my understanding of that years ago when I lost mom to cancer just before Barbara and I were married. Again today I see that there is a blessing to be had from all of this. We must understand that God blesses the one to bless the many, and He blesses the many to bless the one. Blessings are not things given just for one person’s benefit, but for the enrichment of many of God’s people. In addition to the blessings of love and concern we’ve experienced, I’ve also been blessed with the priceless gift of wisdom. Not ultimate wisdom, but a much deeper wisdom about what it is like to walk through the valley of death and still fear no evil. I would like to officially announce to the Lord by way of this email that I have learned enough now, and He can now let life return to normal! Seriously, though, let me encourage each one of you that there are godly things to be drawn from all of the bad junk that happens to you. Lessons are hard to learn, but very practical in the application. I don’t believe God took us down this road just to teach me a lesson, but I do believe that while He walks beside me, He instructs me so that I can in turn help others.
Today, Barbara has had 2 procedures that will take us further along in our journey to health. She is still highly sedated and on the reverse-breathing pattern provided by the respirator (now routed through a trach, rather than through her mouth). Her temperature occasionally spikes, and her blood pressure has been a bit high at times.
It is incredibly evident to me that God is at work, and that many are praying. While the condition of her heart is a concern, other things continue to show modest but steady improvement. Her kidneys are now functioning at 25% (up from 15%), and her lungs seem a bit clearer each day. The lung doctor is encouraged by the fact that while she is still very, very sick, she is stable and showing progress. Her lungs are the primary concern right now. A test of her bronchial passages today showed them to look good, but still in shock. They continue to be stiff and in need of the respirator.
I’ve seen people get very upset with the medical establishment over their inability to pinpoint ways to solve every health crisis. However, I am fully aware that we are dealing with an inexact science here. Further, our bodies are so incredibly complex, it is absolutely phenomenal how many things need to be functioning properly to keep us in good health. So when I tell you that Barbara is being plagued by infection, but the doctors are not sure of its exact nature, understand that there are countless things it could be. The game here is to treat her for a variety of possibilities and hope that the doctors win before the virus does. Besides, as I’ve mentioned in past updates, Barbara is very immuno-suppressed from years of arthritis medicine. Arthritis is our immune system gone crazy, and the meds that she’s taken to stay well all these years are working against her in this situation. That’s also why I’ve said that she is as much in God’s hands as a person can be. I am confident at this point that every twist and turn of this journey is in the loving hands of our Father. He made Barbara, He knows what should happen here, and I’m satisfied that His will prevails.
Here’s how you can help us pray today:
That the lungs will be well and that all infections will leave,
That she will be emotionally prepared to deal with the tracheotomy when they eventually begin to lower her sedative,
That the neck surgery will continue to heal well.
Many of you ask me how I’m doing, and frankly I don’t know. My brain has shifted into the reality of living moment by moment, and it’s hard for me to process much beyond that right now!
Thanks again for all your prayers!
Greg
As we try to make sense of the really bad stuff that happens to us in our life, I realize that God can use even the darkest days for good. I began my understanding of that years ago when I lost mom to cancer just before Barbara and I were married. Again today I see that there is a blessing to be had from all of this. We must understand that God blesses the one to bless the many, and He blesses the many to bless the one. Blessings are not things given just for one person’s benefit, but for the enrichment of many of God’s people. In addition to the blessings of love and concern we’ve experienced, I’ve also been blessed with the priceless gift of wisdom. Not ultimate wisdom, but a much deeper wisdom about what it is like to walk through the valley of death and still fear no evil. I would like to officially announce to the Lord by way of this email that I have learned enough now, and He can now let life return to normal! Seriously, though, let me encourage each one of you that there are godly things to be drawn from all of the bad junk that happens to you. Lessons are hard to learn, but very practical in the application. I don’t believe God took us down this road just to teach me a lesson, but I do believe that while He walks beside me, He instructs me so that I can in turn help others.
Today, Barbara has had 2 procedures that will take us further along in our journey to health. She is still highly sedated and on the reverse-breathing pattern provided by the respirator (now routed through a trach, rather than through her mouth). Her temperature occasionally spikes, and her blood pressure has been a bit high at times.
It is incredibly evident to me that God is at work, and that many are praying. While the condition of her heart is a concern, other things continue to show modest but steady improvement. Her kidneys are now functioning at 25% (up from 15%), and her lungs seem a bit clearer each day. The lung doctor is encouraged by the fact that while she is still very, very sick, she is stable and showing progress. Her lungs are the primary concern right now. A test of her bronchial passages today showed them to look good, but still in shock. They continue to be stiff and in need of the respirator.
I’ve seen people get very upset with the medical establishment over their inability to pinpoint ways to solve every health crisis. However, I am fully aware that we are dealing with an inexact science here. Further, our bodies are so incredibly complex, it is absolutely phenomenal how many things need to be functioning properly to keep us in good health. So when I tell you that Barbara is being plagued by infection, but the doctors are not sure of its exact nature, understand that there are countless things it could be. The game here is to treat her for a variety of possibilities and hope that the doctors win before the virus does. Besides, as I’ve mentioned in past updates, Barbara is very immuno-suppressed from years of arthritis medicine. Arthritis is our immune system gone crazy, and the meds that she’s taken to stay well all these years are working against her in this situation. That’s also why I’ve said that she is as much in God’s hands as a person can be. I am confident at this point that every twist and turn of this journey is in the loving hands of our Father. He made Barbara, He knows what should happen here, and I’m satisfied that His will prevails.
Here’s how you can help us pray today:
That the lungs will be well and that all infections will leave,
That she will be emotionally prepared to deal with the tracheotomy when they eventually begin to lower her sedative,
That the neck surgery will continue to heal well.
Many of you ask me how I’m doing, and frankly I don’t know. My brain has shifted into the reality of living moment by moment, and it’s hard for me to process much beyond that right now!
Thanks again for all your prayers!
Greg
December 6
Barbara continues to show small signs of improvement in regards to her lungs. This morning they actually had her down to 65% oxygen on the respirator, and she maintained a 94% oxygen level in her body.
She came through her surgery to “install” the tracheotomy well. She seems much more relaxed now. All tubes are out of her mouth, and have been placed in the throat. They all tell me that this will be much better for her, and will make her much more comfortable. Plus, they don’t like to go beyond 14 days with the tubes routed through the mouth due to the possibility of damage to the vocal cords.
Right now she is stable, and all seems to be going well. She is still on the reverse breathing pattern, so they will keep her heavily sedated.
She has had an allergic reaction to one of the antibiotics, resulting in some very nasty skin irritation. So, yet another doctor will visit to address that issue.
We are probably looking an a long, long hospital stay even if everything goes well.
Here’s how you can help us pray today:
That the tracheotomy will do well,
That her heart and kidneys grow stronger,
That the lungs continue to clear and the pneumonia clears up,
And that the neck surgery continues to heal well.
Thanks yet again for your continuing prayers and gracious emails and notes.
Greg
She came through her surgery to “install” the tracheotomy well. She seems much more relaxed now. All tubes are out of her mouth, and have been placed in the throat. They all tell me that this will be much better for her, and will make her much more comfortable. Plus, they don’t like to go beyond 14 days with the tubes routed through the mouth due to the possibility of damage to the vocal cords.
Right now she is stable, and all seems to be going well. She is still on the reverse breathing pattern, so they will keep her heavily sedated.
She has had an allergic reaction to one of the antibiotics, resulting in some very nasty skin irritation. So, yet another doctor will visit to address that issue.
We are probably looking an a long, long hospital stay even if everything goes well.
Here’s how you can help us pray today:
That the tracheotomy will do well,
That her heart and kidneys grow stronger,
That the lungs continue to clear and the pneumonia clears up,
And that the neck surgery continues to heal well.
Thanks yet again for your continuing prayers and gracious emails and notes.
Greg
December 4
Barbara is on day 12 on the respirator, and the lung doctor tells us that they don’t like to go past 14 days without going to a tracheotomy (tubes through the neck into the throat, rather than through the mouth). He will be consulting with the surgeon, Dr. Rifai, as to what can be done about the neck brace. Right now they have her in a very complicated looking contraption that includes supports down her chest and straps around her waist. This would not allow for a trach. One nurse suggested that they might have to use a halo (involving multiple pins into the head), but I will press them to find some other means if it comes to that. The trach will be traumatic enough to her – I also recall how upset she was when the prospect of a halo was mentioned early on. The tubes down the throat could remain if worse comes to worse, but there is the fear of permanently damaging her vocal cords. Also, the tube they were forced to put down her throat is much smaller than what they prefer to use. The benefits of the trach would be that it would allow Barbara’s throat to recover and tubes to be removed while sedated. Also, they’ll be able to clean and oxygenate her lungs more efficiently. The down side is that, with the existing injuries from the surgery, it will increase her chance of infection. Either way, she will remain heavily sedated while she is on this “reverse” breathing pattern, since she would naturally fight it if awake. Incidentally, in case you wondered, they tell me the trach will be temporary.
It is good news that she continues to show signs of improvement. The lungs are a bit clearer today. They’ve slowly began programming her bed to move her just a little at a time. And, her respirator is presently at 75% oxygen, which is a 5% improvement. As of this writing, her oxygen levels remain good. Also, her kidneys, while weak, are still functioning.
As for the fact that her lungs are in shock, the lung doctor says it isn’t unusual to take a couple of weeks to see any improvement. She will be in intensive care for quite a time to come barring any unforeseen miraculous happenings!
So, we continue in a good direction. Her vitals are good, and she continues in critical but stable condition. She’s not out of the woods yet, but we remain hopeful. Here’s how you can help us pray today:
That there will be no more setbacks, and that infections will be staved off,
That there will be a good solution to the tracheotomy/brace dilemma,
That her lungs will heal quickly,
That her heart will not fail,
That there will be no long term ill effects of her days of immobility.
Thank you to all who were lifting me in prayer yesterday morning. All went well, and I felt the strength of the Spirit to even a greater degree than I had expected. This whole event with Barbara’s illness has put me into quite a fog (many of you know what that is all about), so pray that I will be able to be sensitive to the needs of my people even at this time when I’m so preoccupied. Pray also that I’ll figure out how to move back into a routine that meets at least some of the demands of ministry will still attending to my wife. Thanks in advance!
Remember Jackie too as she finishes up the semester with a heavy, heavy load on her heart and mind.
Many of you have told me that you anxiously await these updates, and I am grateful for your concern. If, however, I have added you to my list and you’d rather not receive this, just drop me an email and I promise I will not be offended in the least bit.
Aren’t we such blessed people? Even in the tough stuff, we have reason to celebrate anyway.
Greg
It is good news that she continues to show signs of improvement. The lungs are a bit clearer today. They’ve slowly began programming her bed to move her just a little at a time. And, her respirator is presently at 75% oxygen, which is a 5% improvement. As of this writing, her oxygen levels remain good. Also, her kidneys, while weak, are still functioning.
As for the fact that her lungs are in shock, the lung doctor says it isn’t unusual to take a couple of weeks to see any improvement. She will be in intensive care for quite a time to come barring any unforeseen miraculous happenings!
So, we continue in a good direction. Her vitals are good, and she continues in critical but stable condition. She’s not out of the woods yet, but we remain hopeful. Here’s how you can help us pray today:
That there will be no more setbacks, and that infections will be staved off,
That there will be a good solution to the tracheotomy/brace dilemma,
That her lungs will heal quickly,
That her heart will not fail,
That there will be no long term ill effects of her days of immobility.
Thank you to all who were lifting me in prayer yesterday morning. All went well, and I felt the strength of the Spirit to even a greater degree than I had expected. This whole event with Barbara’s illness has put me into quite a fog (many of you know what that is all about), so pray that I will be able to be sensitive to the needs of my people even at this time when I’m so preoccupied. Pray also that I’ll figure out how to move back into a routine that meets at least some of the demands of ministry will still attending to my wife. Thanks in advance!
Remember Jackie too as she finishes up the semester with a heavy, heavy load on her heart and mind.
Many of you have told me that you anxiously await these updates, and I am grateful for your concern. If, however, I have added you to my list and you’d rather not receive this, just drop me an email and I promise I will not be offended in the least bit.
Aren’t we such blessed people? Even in the tough stuff, we have reason to celebrate anyway.
Greg
December 2
Since discovering that there is a guest wireless internet connect here at the hospital, I’ve been trying to respond to as many of your emails as I can. I can’t tell you how much your words of comfort and encouragement mean to me. I sense a great wall of prayer surrounding us on every side.
Last night they put Barbara on a different respirator because they wanted to try a more aggressive treatment that the other one could not sustain. Her lungs are sounding better, and x-rays show that the pneumonia has started to clear in some places. However, for some mysterious reason, her oxygen levels keep bottoming out. So, this new respirator is giving her powerful, long sustained blasts of oxygen, followed by a very short exhale. They say that this is a very traumatic way to breathe (just think about it – we tend to have longer, slower exhales). As a result, they’ve switched her to a different sedative and are keeping it at a higher level (this one allows for less fluid into the body). She is probably able to hear us, but the sedative helps her to quickly forget what is going on. If you’ve ever had an out-patient procedure with just enough sedative to knock you out, you probably know what this one is like. One great issue of concern on this front is that every time they move her, even bed rotations to keep her from developing sores, her oxygen level bottoms out.
Her kidneys are weak, but praise God, continue to move some fluids out. The problem, which is typical to any patient that is laid up for an extended period of time, is that she is now greatly swollen. They’re trying to limit her fluid intake and promote kidney function, but this is certainly a matter of concern. The heart doctor is concerned about how long her heart can function like this.
She continues to run an intermittent temperature, but thankfully, they haven’t gone as high as they did several nights ago.
It’s good that we’re seeing a bit of clearing in her lungs, and that her kidneys continue to function. The nurses remind me, though, that this is like building a house of cards. We have so many things going on that they’re trying to carefully put each piece in place without causing everything to crash. Her blood pressure has been good, although her heart rate is a bit elevated. While I continue to maintain optimism, I’m also aware that things could go wrong really fast. She is as much in God’s hands as any person can be right now.
Here are some ideas of how you could help me to pray today:
That her lungs will continue to clear, and that her heart and kidneys will grow stronger,
That her oxygen levels begin to improve,
That the neck surgery continues to grow strong,
And that this immobility will not cause her arthritis to lock her up indefinitely once she recovers.
I am going to bring the message for tomorrow morning’s worship service at GFM. I have felt the specific calling of God this week that I was to do this. It seems important to me that I demonstrate that the Spirit can help us to do hard things even in the face of crisis. Please pray that this crisis takes a quick positive turn for the sake of all of us. When I’m not sitting her by Barbara’s side, my mind is constantly with her. Many of you know what that’s all about!
Thanks again for your prayers and for your encouragement for me to keep these updates coming.
In His power,
Greg
Last night they put Barbara on a different respirator because they wanted to try a more aggressive treatment that the other one could not sustain. Her lungs are sounding better, and x-rays show that the pneumonia has started to clear in some places. However, for some mysterious reason, her oxygen levels keep bottoming out. So, this new respirator is giving her powerful, long sustained blasts of oxygen, followed by a very short exhale. They say that this is a very traumatic way to breathe (just think about it – we tend to have longer, slower exhales). As a result, they’ve switched her to a different sedative and are keeping it at a higher level (this one allows for less fluid into the body). She is probably able to hear us, but the sedative helps her to quickly forget what is going on. If you’ve ever had an out-patient procedure with just enough sedative to knock you out, you probably know what this one is like. One great issue of concern on this front is that every time they move her, even bed rotations to keep her from developing sores, her oxygen level bottoms out.
Her kidneys are weak, but praise God, continue to move some fluids out. The problem, which is typical to any patient that is laid up for an extended period of time, is that she is now greatly swollen. They’re trying to limit her fluid intake and promote kidney function, but this is certainly a matter of concern. The heart doctor is concerned about how long her heart can function like this.
She continues to run an intermittent temperature, but thankfully, they haven’t gone as high as they did several nights ago.
It’s good that we’re seeing a bit of clearing in her lungs, and that her kidneys continue to function. The nurses remind me, though, that this is like building a house of cards. We have so many things going on that they’re trying to carefully put each piece in place without causing everything to crash. Her blood pressure has been good, although her heart rate is a bit elevated. While I continue to maintain optimism, I’m also aware that things could go wrong really fast. She is as much in God’s hands as any person can be right now.
Here are some ideas of how you could help me to pray today:
That her lungs will continue to clear, and that her heart and kidneys will grow stronger,
That her oxygen levels begin to improve,
That the neck surgery continues to grow strong,
And that this immobility will not cause her arthritis to lock her up indefinitely once she recovers.
I am going to bring the message for tomorrow morning’s worship service at GFM. I have felt the specific calling of God this week that I was to do this. It seems important to me that I demonstrate that the Spirit can help us to do hard things even in the face of crisis. Please pray that this crisis takes a quick positive turn for the sake of all of us. When I’m not sitting her by Barbara’s side, my mind is constantly with her. Many of you know what that’s all about!
Thanks again for your prayers and for your encouragement for me to keep these updates coming.
In His power,
Greg
November 30
Your prayers, calls, emails, cards and visits have overwhelmed me, and I am very grateful. The far-reaching prayer chain that is supporting us is of more value than you’ll ever know. I believe in prayer, but going through this trial has taught me even more about it than I’d ever understood before.
I choose to be optimistic in the fact that there is nothing significantly bad to report. She remains stable, although in critical condition. The nurses here lovingly remind me that things could take a rapid turn in either direction in her condition. So, we are preparing for the worst and praying for the best. Her kidneys continue to function to a degree, so that is good. We’re hoping to avoid dialysis since she doesn’t need anything else to wear her body down. They tell me, though, that she is completely exhausted, and that is another thing making recovery difficult. Also, she continues to be on 100% oxygen from the respirator, and cannot survive without it. Whenever they have to remove it to suction the lines, she crashes very quickly, which is a great concern (duh!). She continues to be mostly sedated, although possibly aware of what is going on (they are giving her a hypnotic drug that helps her forget what is happening, and she is mostly non-responsive at this time. She is still on the respirator, and her pneumonia has neither gotten worse nor better. They have told us that this degree of illness doesn’t happen quickly, and usually doesn’t go away quickly. As for the reason that she is in the hospital in the first place, the neck surgery on her vertebrae, our doctor tells us that things are going very well on that front. They still are asking that we have no visitors in the room, but I am able to stay with her throughout the day. Her mom and my dad are here with me and have been a wonderful support.
Our daughter is getting married in the spring, so I’m determined that Barbara be there and in the best health she’s experienced in recent years. Here’s how you can help me pray today:
That her body is able to rest and fight,
That the pneumonia and all ensuing infections clear quickly,
That her neck will continue to grow stronger,
That her kidneys grow stronger.
I believe she continues to get the best care under her circumstances, and I also know she is in much bigger hands. Where my faith has grown weak at times, you have all been instruments of keeping me strong. Some of you have been through some of the worst stuff life can throw at you, and by your witness, have been a true inspiration.
Thanks again for your prayers.
Greg
I choose to be optimistic in the fact that there is nothing significantly bad to report. She remains stable, although in critical condition. The nurses here lovingly remind me that things could take a rapid turn in either direction in her condition. So, we are preparing for the worst and praying for the best. Her kidneys continue to function to a degree, so that is good. We’re hoping to avoid dialysis since she doesn’t need anything else to wear her body down. They tell me, though, that she is completely exhausted, and that is another thing making recovery difficult. Also, she continues to be on 100% oxygen from the respirator, and cannot survive without it. Whenever they have to remove it to suction the lines, she crashes very quickly, which is a great concern (duh!). She continues to be mostly sedated, although possibly aware of what is going on (they are giving her a hypnotic drug that helps her forget what is happening, and she is mostly non-responsive at this time. She is still on the respirator, and her pneumonia has neither gotten worse nor better. They have told us that this degree of illness doesn’t happen quickly, and usually doesn’t go away quickly. As for the reason that she is in the hospital in the first place, the neck surgery on her vertebrae, our doctor tells us that things are going very well on that front. They still are asking that we have no visitors in the room, but I am able to stay with her throughout the day. Her mom and my dad are here with me and have been a wonderful support.
Our daughter is getting married in the spring, so I’m determined that Barbara be there and in the best health she’s experienced in recent years. Here’s how you can help me pray today:
That her body is able to rest and fight,
That the pneumonia and all ensuing infections clear quickly,
That her neck will continue to grow stronger,
That her kidneys grow stronger.
I believe she continues to get the best care under her circumstances, and I also know she is in much bigger hands. Where my faith has grown weak at times, you have all been instruments of keeping me strong. Some of you have been through some of the worst stuff life can throw at you, and by your witness, have been a true inspiration.
Thanks again for your prayers.
Greg
November 28
Seems these updates are turning into a daily business for me, but I find it helpful to be able to pour these things out and know that SO MANY are praying.
Good news first. Barbara’s blood pressure has gone up enough that they now have her sedated. This is great because it means she won’t be struggling against the respirator now. It will allow her heart and lungs to be at rest. Also, her temperature has improved.
Now the not so good part is that thanks to over 20 years on arthritis medicine, she is very immuno-suppressed. That is making it very difficult for her body to fight the pneumonia and the ensuing infections that accompany severe respiratory illnesses. Her kidneys are slowing down, and they’re consulting with both a renal and infectious disease doctor. She is in critical condition, but at this time, she’s stable.
Her surgeon, who is one of the best in the area, assures me that he is bringing the best doctors onto her team that he can. He is a very caring and compassionate man, and we are blessed to have him. The nurses here have been fantastic as well.
Pray today that the pneumonia will break and that the infections will be quickly resolved with the antibiotics.
Your continued cards and emails and visits have been a blessing directed by God. You have been of great encouragement to me, especially knowing that when I run out of words to pray, you are praying as well.
Greg
Good news first. Barbara’s blood pressure has gone up enough that they now have her sedated. This is great because it means she won’t be struggling against the respirator now. It will allow her heart and lungs to be at rest. Also, her temperature has improved.
Now the not so good part is that thanks to over 20 years on arthritis medicine, she is very immuno-suppressed. That is making it very difficult for her body to fight the pneumonia and the ensuing infections that accompany severe respiratory illnesses. Her kidneys are slowing down, and they’re consulting with both a renal and infectious disease doctor. She is in critical condition, but at this time, she’s stable.
Her surgeon, who is one of the best in the area, assures me that he is bringing the best doctors onto her team that he can. He is a very caring and compassionate man, and we are blessed to have him. The nurses here have been fantastic as well.
Pray today that the pneumonia will break and that the infections will be quickly resolved with the antibiotics.
Your continued cards and emails and visits have been a blessing directed by God. You have been of great encouragement to me, especially knowing that when I run out of words to pray, you are praying as well.
Greg
November 27
It seems like Barbara’s progress has been like a roller coaster ride. Yesterday she was doing better, and today we arrived to find she was much worse.
After her surgery, she has continued on the respirator. We sent Jackie back to Asbury Seminary Saturday since we didn’t want her to fall behind on classes. It was a tough decision for all, but we felt like it was the right thing to do, and Barbara nodded agreement.
This morning we arrived at the hospital to find that her temperature had spiked quite high overnight. Her pneumonia is much worse, and the doctor said that her lungs are in shock. Also, her stomach has stopped working (I’m not sure what all the ramifications of that are). They want to completely sedate her, but her blood pressure is so low, they can’t do that. So, she is more alert and in distress than ever today. Since she can’t communicate, she is quite agitated.
The doctor has indicated that her condition is quite serious, and they are treating her aggressively. This is quite a serious set-back, though, and we really need your continued prayers.
Pray that the pneumonia will break up immediately.
Pray that her blood pressure goes back to a safe level.
Pray that she makes a miraculous rebound quickly.
Thank you all for your continued prayers, visits, notes, and gifts of food. You are all very precious to us. I wish I could tell you that individually, but I do read all emails and notes, and share them with Barb when she’s alert.
I am still confident.
Greg
After her surgery, she has continued on the respirator. We sent Jackie back to Asbury Seminary Saturday since we didn’t want her to fall behind on classes. It was a tough decision for all, but we felt like it was the right thing to do, and Barbara nodded agreement.
This morning we arrived at the hospital to find that her temperature had spiked quite high overnight. Her pneumonia is much worse, and the doctor said that her lungs are in shock. Also, her stomach has stopped working (I’m not sure what all the ramifications of that are). They want to completely sedate her, but her blood pressure is so low, they can’t do that. So, she is more alert and in distress than ever today. Since she can’t communicate, she is quite agitated.
The doctor has indicated that her condition is quite serious, and they are treating her aggressively. This is quite a serious set-back, though, and we really need your continued prayers.
Pray that the pneumonia will break up immediately.
Pray that her blood pressure goes back to a safe level.
Pray that she makes a miraculous rebound quickly.
Thank you all for your continued prayers, visits, notes, and gifts of food. You are all very precious to us. I wish I could tell you that individually, but I do read all emails and notes, and share them with Barb when she’s alert.
I am still confident.
Greg
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