February 20 - Will this ever end?!?!

Sorry it's been a few days since posting. Don't know what to say. Ever been so frustrated that you didn't know what to say? Frankly, I'm at the point where I get agitated easily just by discussing what is going on. I'm not sure I know up from down right now!

As you probably already know, Barbara's trache was removed last Thursday. Her throat is healing very nicely. Great! Also, the wound area from the back of her head is also healing. However, the massive size of it means that it will take a LONG time to return to normal. I am very pleased that Barbara continues to make progress moving. She used her hands and arms to gesture while talking to someone today, and didn't even realize she was doing it! She's also starting to be able to use a remote control a little - although it's hard for her. During physical therapy, she was able to slowly eek her legs towards the edge of the bed for them to set her up for a while. These are all wonderful things.

I'm am very grateful to God for the way He has helped Barbara; but I don't praise Him because of her progress. I simply praise Him anyway. Progress or not, He is still too great for words. I can say that without being disingenuous because we still face some overwhelming problems in all of this mess.

Barbara's blood pressure has been low, at times frighteningly low, over the past several days. She felt really lousy today, and it's pretty scary to see how how she dips at times. It's upsetting that we can't seem to get a plan of attack from anyone as to how to deal with this issue.

Also, we're both quite frustrated with the length of time this whole ordeal is taking. She is more than ready to be home, and I am more than ready to have her here. Oh, you're right, it could be worse. But when you get to the end of your patience and endurance, there aren't many places left to go. I have heard so many people say that God doesn't give us more than we can endure. Well, that didn't keep Job from complaining at length, and I plan to proceed in proper Biblical fashion! Not that that we have it as bad as Job, and not that I'm not really, really tired of hearing him used as an example. It just seemed a perfectly polemic thing to say.

As for Barbara moving to rehab... oh, am I ever getting tired of this mess. Whereas there was supposed to be a bed waiting for Barbara at RIC, we now learn that they won't have a place for her until the first of March. See, here's where I'm getting a bit whoofed. This place seems to throw us one delay after another, all the while we are running out of days that insurance will pay. We are now into Barbara's non-regenerating lifetime days (about 50 left), and once they're gone, I guess it comes out of our pocket. Yeah right. 50 days may seem like a lot, but 1) I don't like the idea of her using all of them up, and 2) she still has a long way to go. I hope to get some better answers from RIC, but in the meantime, we are talking with other area hospital rehabs about possible interim or maybe indefinite care. There is at least one that I'm impressed with. But this whole mess is criving me drazy.

Sooooo, please pray that we will have wondrous and glorious clarity concerning the rehab messola,

Pray that Barbara's blood pressure will stabilize,

Pray that she will have excellent health care workers that will love her and have compassion for her.

I mention that last one because before I left this evening, they sent in the male nurse that doesn't speak much English that we told them was to never be her nurse again. I spoke to the charge nurse, but she was very dismissive. Pray that I keep my cool when I bring this up to the administration tomorrow.

Sorry for unloading so much tonight!