December 8

I’ve asked myself why people seem to be drawn to these updates, when I tend to think everyone should be tired of hearing from me by now. I’ve concluded, from your replies, that sharing the daily drama with me helps everyone to know how to pray. Plus, I’m certainly aware of how much love and compassion there is out there for Barbara. Thank you so much for every outpouring of love. With all the attention I’ve given to Barbara, I have not kept track of your acts of generosity like I wish I could have. I’m sure you will all tell me that you understand, but I still want to make sure you know that even if I fail to send a personal thank you, everything that has been done for us has been deeply appreciated.

As we try to make sense of the really bad stuff that happens to us in our life, I realize that God can use even the darkest days for good. I began my understanding of that years ago when I lost mom to cancer just before Barbara and I were married. Again today I see that there is a blessing to be had from all of this. We must understand that God blesses the one to bless the many, and He blesses the many to bless the one. Blessings are not things given just for one person’s benefit, but for the enrichment of many of God’s people. In addition to the blessings of love and concern we’ve experienced, I’ve also been blessed with the priceless gift of wisdom. Not ultimate wisdom, but a much deeper wisdom about what it is like to walk through the valley of death and still fear no evil. I would like to officially announce to the Lord by way of this email that I have learned enough now, and He can now let life return to normal! Seriously, though, let me encourage each one of you that there are godly things to be drawn from all of the bad junk that happens to you. Lessons are hard to learn, but very practical in the application. I don’t believe God took us down this road just to teach me a lesson, but I do believe that while He walks beside me, He instructs me so that I can in turn help others.

Today, Barbara has had 2 procedures that will take us further along in our journey to health. She is still highly sedated and on the reverse-breathing pattern provided by the respirator (now routed through a trach, rather than through her mouth). Her temperature occasionally spikes, and her blood pressure has been a bit high at times.

It is incredibly evident to me that God is at work, and that many are praying. While the condition of her heart is a concern, other things continue to show modest but steady improvement. Her kidneys are now functioning at 25% (up from 15%), and her lungs seem a bit clearer each day. The lung doctor is encouraged by the fact that while she is still very, very sick, she is stable and showing progress. Her lungs are the primary concern right now. A test of her bronchial passages today showed them to look good, but still in shock. They continue to be stiff and in need of the respirator.

I’ve seen people get very upset with the medical establishment over their inability to pinpoint ways to solve every health crisis. However, I am fully aware that we are dealing with an inexact science here. Further, our bodies are so incredibly complex, it is absolutely phenomenal how many things need to be functioning properly to keep us in good health. So when I tell you that Barbara is being plagued by infection, but the doctors are not sure of its exact nature, understand that there are countless things it could be. The game here is to treat her for a variety of possibilities and hope that the doctors win before the virus does. Besides, as I’ve mentioned in past updates, Barbara is very immuno-suppressed from years of arthritis medicine. Arthritis is our immune system gone crazy, and the meds that she’s taken to stay well all these years are working against her in this situation. That’s also why I’ve said that she is as much in God’s hands as a person can be. I am confident at this point that every twist and turn of this journey is in the loving hands of our Father. He made Barbara, He knows what should happen here, and I’m satisfied that His will prevails.

Here’s how you can help us pray today:

That the lungs will be well and that all infections will leave,

That she will be emotionally prepared to deal with the tracheotomy when they eventually begin to lower her sedative,

That the neck surgery will continue to heal well.

Many of you ask me how I’m doing, and frankly I don’t know. My brain has shifted into the reality of living moment by moment, and it’s hard for me to process much beyond that right now!

Thanks again for all your prayers!

Greg